April 16, Wednesday'25
Quinoa, Detergent, and Small-Scale Panics
Today was one of those days… A little rushed, a little messy—but very me.
I walked into the kitchen early in the morning thinking,
“Let me cook before Ger wakes up, finish my stuff, and get through the day without bothering anyone.”
Well… things took a turn.
I burned my quinoa. Yes, completely charred.
And yes, quinoa pilaf—don’t get hung up on it.
Smoke filled the air, and the fire alarm in Ger’s room started beeping.
While he was running downstairs, I rushed after him yelling, “Oh shit!”
He thought it was coming from the toaster. But no…
The real culprit was my quinoa pilaf.
I was so embarrassed. So uncomfortable. My chest tightened.
And while I was scrubbing the pot in silent shame, I suddenly remembered this mystical incident from 2019, back when I was living with my aunt:
I was trying to make some tea, do laundry at the same time, multitasking like a pro…
And somehow, I decided to heat the laundry detergent on the stove.
Yes. You heard me right.
Detergent. On the stove. Boiling.
When I came back into the kitchen, the thing bubbling away on the burner wasn’t tea—it was detergent.
I had almost caused a fire, but caught it just in time.
I told myself I’d never forget that moment.
But well… I did.
The feeling I had today was exactly the same as back then.
Panic. Guilt. That “how the hell am I going to explain this?” anxiety.
The helplessness of not even being able to explain it to myself.
That’s probably the hardest part of not living in your own home.
Back then, I didn’t know how to tell my aunt. Today, I didn’t know how to tell Ger.
But thankfully, in both cases, the house didn’t burn down.
Both the detergent and the quinoa… left behind just a little smoke, a whole lot of embarrassment, and a teapot’s worth of internal monologue.
Still, Ger being the sweet person he is, helped me calm down.
“Relax, it happens to everyone,” he said. And honestly, it does.
But I can’t help but wonder:
Why don’t I allow myself to make mistakes?
Why do I blow every small thing out of proportion and carry the weight alone?
Maybe while trying to do everything all at once,
I forget how to just be in the moment.
Waking up with a “let me get things done before anyone gets in the way” mindset,
only to end up filling the whole house with smoke…
Yeah, a pretty familiar scenario for me at this point.
Anyway…
I’m just grateful I won’t be telling the story like:
“There was a time I triggered the fire alarm with quinoa and almost burned down the Irish house I’d been living in for 7 months. The firefighters came.”
And here’s the photo, a little memory from that 2019 detergent-and-tea era at my aunt’s house.
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